IT HAPPENED TO ME: DEPRESSED FROM BODY-SHAMING

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Depression is one of the worst things that could ever happen to anyone. Unfortunately, too many people are depressed already and majority are at the verge of committing suicide. Today, I met with a Ugandan who was walking tiredly after doing a long distance jogging. Curious me walked up to her and we entered into a discussion. She talked to me about her long term goal to be slim but hasn't been getting any obvious results regardless of how much efforts she has been putting into reducing her body fat.


She was once about 63 kg but after she had her son, she blew up due to eating a lot. Now, she's weighing about 81 kg and really wants to reduce. She said it feels very depressing and degrading to be fat as so many people are body shaming her. She came over to Nigeria to study and in the course of that, she sent pictures back home to Uganda but got horrific comments from people telling her how fat she still looked and how she wasn't even reducing. She said she felt really bad and upset and is in a depressing mood. Worst still, she is scared of checking her weight because she is afraid there won't be any much difference.

Another friend of mind, Chisom, is also on the big side and would be weighing over 100kg. Due to this, she hasn't been able to find love as too many men do not want to be associated with her. Just like Sarah, the Ugandan, she is very much scared to check her weight on the scale because it would be too much for her to bear. Another friend of mine, Temi, has faced similar back-lash from men at different times when she went on a date because they complained about how big she is.

Body Shaming isn't just for people who are on the big side. Very slim people also get body shamed! I remember when I was weighing over 70kg and went to a gym to exercise, there was another thin girl who came to the gym with the aim of adding weight because she had been back - lashed by people because of how thin she was. Thin people get comments like

'If the wind blows, you would just tossed away like ordinary paper'

Such comments are very depressing. It might seem like a joke but people actually go back home to reminisce on every single comment made to them after the entire day. Just like Omotolo Jalade - Ekehinde, a Nigerian actress said on an interview with Toolz on 'The Juice', the fact that one is fat doesn't mean they are not doing something about it. They might just be embracing the process of slimming down. The best you can do is encourage them and if you have easier ways for them to reduce in weight, you can share it with them which was exactly what I did for Sarah. I told her about my weight reduction from 76kg to 62kg and encouraged her as well, while sharing weight reduction tips.

What about people who are normal in weight but are either too busty or have very little breasts? Those that have either too big butts or are flat behind. Those that have very big bellies or have bow or k-legs? These people also get back-lashed for something that came naturally to them. These people also get depressed due to annoying comments about their body shapes or attributes. The media has given us an idea of how the perfect woman should look like but really, there is nothing like the perfect figure. Even those who have the so - called perfect figures have their own insecurities.

If you are on the big side, don't let anyone make you feel inferior. Just like I told Sarah, 'SLAY THE FAT!'. Wear well fitted clothes that makes you look and feel good. Don't over work yourself just because of people are making silly comments about your weight. Embrace the process and do not be overly anxious to loose weight because it would definitely take time. There is need for patience. Whether you are thin or big, surround yourself with positive people and the right person would love your for who you are. Have you ever be body-shamed before?

EMETE

2 comments:

  1. Hmmm, this is something I probably have a lot to say on - simply because I spent a lot of my childhood being angry and guilty for being fat. Comments were made by family members every time I ate, and as a teenager the boys would call me ugly, but older men would show attention. I thank God that as a fat adult, I have found love and appreciation for my body. I understand that God created me uniquely, and I have a hubby who loves me.

    Onto depression - I feel very sad about the millions of beautiful women who have sunk into depression or have been made to feel bad because of the way they look, whether "too fat" or "too skinny". Nobody knows the next person's journey so it is highly unfair to make flippant remarks about the way they look. I think we should try as much as possible to uplift and encourage each other, as you don't know if your words will pull someone out of their dark place, or drive someone over the edge.

    Madeline

    http://www.madelinewilsonojo.com

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    Replies
    1. Madeline, you always leave beautiful comments. Thank you. You couldn't have said it any better. People really don't know how far their words actually go.

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