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Sometimes, parents could get confused about what goes on in the heads of their kids and most times, they wonder why they do what they do. What too many parents tend to forget very easily is the fact that they themselves were once kids. They refuse to put themselves in the shoes of their kids when handling most situations. You're a parent and you need to be super cool and patient to establish the best relationship with your kids. These five findings would guide you to becoming better in the parenting business.


1. Times have indeed changed

I know you tend to hear this statement from your children a gazillion times. They could also alternate between saying 'old school' and 'we are no longer in the past'. This is truly true and oh no!, you're not stuck! You have the internet, books, magazines and your religious body to guide you. Importantly, to understand how well to fit into the changing times, you have to make every moment count with your kids, thereby understanding how and why they respond to different situations. The way you grew up in your own time is different from the way they are growing up. The environment, people, schooling system etc have all changed. Flowing with the change would make you super cool!

2. They wish they could tell you everything

But they won't! Why? Because they don't see you as someone who they can share their tiny little secrets with! Why? Because they are not absolutely comfortable with you! But it can be solved. You need to be their very first love before they find their first love. You need to be their very best friend before they find their best friend. You need to be everything to them not just through your words but through your actions. You don't just have to tell them you love them, you have to show them. You have to make them understand that you are ready to share in their fears, joys, secrets and everything. Be ready to empathize and sympathize. This way, you would be able to build a good relationship with them and you would be surprised at the many deep things hidden in their hearts that they would pour out to you.

TIP - Discuss how your day went with them, work, your friends etc and ask for their opinion. Listen and assure them that you would take to their advice. Afterwards, ask them about how their own day went, school, friends etc. This would make them comfortable and ready to open up.

3. Do you really have to flog and punish?

One of the reasons why your kids won't even get intimate with you in the first place is because your reward for everything is flogging and punishing. Kids don't want to be flogged and punished at everything. They want you to understand that they are not above mistakes just like you. Sometimes, advice. Sometimes, hugs. No, don't laugh and say that one is americana and we are africans. I know. You will apparently flog and punish but not all the time. These things instill fear into kids and they would be very transcendent from you. To curb this, sometimes, tell them its okay and they can always do better. Other times, be silent and just give them a hug. Or, sit them down and give them the needed advice. They respond better to these things.

4. They know more than you think

Sometimes, they know more than you on a topic but they just wouldn't let you know. Don't think they are too small. I can't begin spilling out the so many things I knew even when I was just six or even four. I KNEW A LOT! Kids are pretty deep. That sex topic you're hiding from them, they can analyze everything. Some of them even sex chat and send nudes. That career topic you think their brains aren't developed for, they can give you that one needed advice you are confused about. So, instead of being awkward and not discussing these things, discuss EVERYTHING with them so that they can sieve the wrong from the right. Ask them what they think about a variety of topics and you'll be surprised at all they would say. This would give you an inkling into what's on their mind. Kids are very curious people and as long as they can operate a cell phone, they can browse about EVERYTHING you're hiding from them.

5. They really don't like you

Sorry, but it's the truth! This is quite unfortunate but the bitter truth. You might not know but too many kids have preferences. They might prefer daddy over mommy and vice versa. Infact, they might prefer their school teacher over you. You really can't tell when a child doesn't like you if you don't even pay close attention to them. On the other hand, they might totally love you. Then, you're lucky. But if you're the flogging, screaming and commanding type, there are high chances your kids do not really like you no matter the sacrifices you're making. Fortunately, they wish they could love you and they wish you could be the best parent in the world. You can achieve that by paying attention to the four points above.

Kids are special beings and they need all the love and care in the world. It's absolutely no small task raising one or many. You just need to have the right strategy and set the right principles. Know when to flog and when to simply give an advice, when to rebuke and when to silently give a hug. Don't just make sacrifices, let them see the sacrifices. They'll appreciate you better.

(Image Source - NBC News)



  1. Very good insight! I especially love your advice on sharing your day with your kids and asking for their opinion.


    1. I'm glad you do! That's one way of making them express themselves


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