THE MARRIAGE SCARE: HOW RESPONSIBLE IS YOUR HUSBAND?

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(Image Source - HealthTopia)

So I'm sitted on my bed in the hostel, making corrections to my final year project when my roommate and her friend are discussing about their parent's marriage. My roommate is angry and bitter about her parent's marriage. To her, it's no use seeing them together because in her words,


'My father is just useless'

She claims he sits at home all day, doing absolutely nothing while her mom does basically everything. She pays the bill, does the house chores and is practically the man of the house. Still, she would come home stressed after the day's work, pretend like her husband is a good person, discuss about her day with him before going to bed. Her mom once developed high blood pressure and was bedridden for two (2) weeks due to too much thinking. According to her,

'I usually sit up to watch movies every night and I would hear her sigh heavily due to too much thinking. Basically, I don't care because I've told her to pack out but she wouldn't but just to fulfill all righteousness as a good child, I would simply walk up to her in her room where she's sitted at the edge of the bed and ask after her welfare'

Her friend takes the bout and discusses about how her own father is just as irresponsible and after he lost his job, he refused to get another one because in her own words,

'He won't take a job if it's not white-collar'

Her mother therefore does everything in the house and the annoying part is that she gives birth like water. She is practically vexed that even when she was in SSS3, she was still having babies. The funny thing is that her father would come complaining to them that their mother has gotten pregnant again as if he didn't contribute to the process. At some point, he used to beat her. Now that they are grown up, if he dares lay his hands on her, they would stand up for their mother.

The entire discussion ended with the statement by my roommate's friend,

'I am scared to marry'

My roommate replied, 'Who isn't?'

HOW RESPONSIBLE IS YOUR HUSBAND?

Food for thought! As ladies, we all grow up fantasizing about how one day we would find the right man who would give us butterflies in our tummy and sweep us off our feet. How we would one day say YES and I DO to this man and spend forever with him. Today, if you are still with your husband after 10 years, you should be applauded and awarded because marriage today is not what it used to be or better still, what its meant to be.

FACT - Men are getting more irresponsible by the day.

For the married peeps, how responsible is your own husband? And for the men, do you think being irresponsible makes you a better man? There are three kinds of irresponsible men - the one who is irresponsible from the onset, the one who is irresponsible even with a job and the one who is irresponsible when he looses his job.

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THE ONE WHO IS IRRESPONSIBLE FROM THE ONSET

These ones have practically being irresponsible from the beginning of the marriage. Perhaps, he even borrowed money from his wife to throw the wedding. He could also have ran into debt after the wedding. He is married but doesn't have a job and most likely doesn't care about his situation. All he does is sit at home all day, doing absolutely nothing or crossing his legs to watch TV when PHCN gives the light. This kind of man cares less about the children's welfare and is most likely to beat the hell out of his working wife. He is likely to see his wife as proud and unsubmissive. The stupid ones thinks their wives are bad luck and have used or exchanged their destinies.

THE ONE WHO IS IRRESPONSIBLE EVEN WITH A JOB

These ones have a job - perhaps, a good job. It is either their wife is also working or she is jobless. Now, this kind of man is practically as useless as someone without a job because of his very stingy nature. He doesn't provide for his wife or even give her any pocket money. He doesn't in anyway spend on her. She has to beg and explain before he can drop very little money for the house-keep even when he can afford more. His kids most likely get sent out of school because he pays their fees late. He cares less about their upkeep and everyone keeps wondering where his entire salary goes into. He is likely to be an emotionally abusive husband and he sees his wife as good-for-nothing either because she doesn't have a job or because he earns more than her.

THE ONE THAT IS IRRESPONSIBLE WHEN HE LOOSES HIS JOB

These ones did not see it coming. It is not planned for in anyway. He is either sacked or for some reasons, he quits his job. Frustration and irresponsibility sets in. For some, their new found job is Bet9ja or Nairabet as he can most times be found at the betting shop, loosing all his cash away. Since he doesn't have a job, he doesn't expect anyone to ask him for money. Most times, these type of men are not even on the outlook for a new job and both his wife and kids suffer immensely due to lack of money. His wife who cannot watch such situation is either now working hard to take care of the house or going around begging for money. These kind of men tend to be very suspicious, angry, malicious and wife beaters. Worst still, his sex game is now very strong because if he is not betting his destiny away, he is tearing her up in bed.

All these are a million and one reason why young ladies are scared of entering into marriage because of we don't have an idea of what to expect. He can be responsible today and only God knows what tomorrow. The rate of irresponsible men in our society is seriously on the rise and this is why the divorce rate is as well on the rise as awareness is on the rise and more women are coming out to speak and tell their stories. I feel it is high time mothers paid as much attention to their sons as they pay to their daughters. No, don't say he's a guy and he would find his way while she is a girl and she must be well trained. That is why your son would turn out to be as irresponsible as that irresponsible man you know or have heard of.

Just like daughters,


  • The guys should be taught not to keep later nights
  • How to cook and do domestic chores
  • How to take care of the home and take care of their sisters and every woman in their lives
  • How never to raise their voice or hands on a woman
  • How to cope in a tight situation without venting frustration and anger
  • How important it is to keep the right association
  • How drinking and smoking and drug usage can have a very adverse effect to their health and lives
These and more should be instilled into and discussed with sons because if families would become great homes, it starts from your son. Yes, that young little boy. He would be someone's husband tomorrow. How responsible will he be?

EMETE

4 comments:

  1. This is absolutely beautiful. I love the shape your blog is taking now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Orente. I'm glad you love it

      Delete
  2. Awesome article. Learn't something. I'm determined to stay responsible

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