This issue has been bothering me for a while but I decided to write on it after he bullied me to giving him my money. Only those who have experienced this can relate. Years back, when I and my family were living in Ogun State, there was a particular mad man that usually wandered around our area. This man was REALLY MAD. As usual, there were different stories that bothered around what led to his madness. The most prominent of all was the story of him being married to three wives who were witches. The man was relatively poor and decided to use one of them for blood money in order to get rich quickly. Very similar to a typical Nigerian Movie.

To cut the long story short, the sacrifice bounced back because the witch wife had more power or thereby and he was made mad. He however had children around who abandoned him the same way his wives abandoned him. He also had a house around our area that time and he would return to the house after the day's madness. His name was ISKIRU. I'm using WAS because I'm not sure if he's still alive but hopefully, he might be.

Iskiru was feared by all and sundry. No one ran where he was. If you were in a relay race and you were passing my area and he was around at the time, you would have to pause your running because Iskiru would run after you and you know mad men. They won't stop running because they are very energized. You would eventually loose. One day in school, my class mate came back laughing, telling us the tale about how a very obese woman was passing by and Iskiru grabbed her and started kissing her whilst pressing her huge boobs. Whether the story was true or not, we didn't bother to verify. It was an exciting story and we were glad to spread the rumor.

The cane that broke the camel's back was when Iskiru pursued I and my friend. I hate trouble and I try as much as possible to avoid it but on this day, it was unavoidable. I hate dogs. Ever since I was pursued by dogs alongside my friends when I was a kid, I detested dogs since then. On this day, I was passing Iskiru's usual abode. He stayed in an uncompleted building during the day. Usually, I would cross to the other side. However, I didn't sight him from afar. Then, I saw a dog and took off. Iskiru sighted me and started pursuing I and my friend that were running. God saved us that day. We confused him and escaped till he couldn't locate us again.

We made a joke around Iskiru called '5 minute madness'. It was believed that Iskiru would run mad for 5 minutes and then, become normal. After 5 minutes again, he would run mad. We also saw something online that every human experienced madness for 5 minutes every day. We didn't bother to verify how true. After all, it was exciting and so we spread it. So, whenever someone said something stupid, we would tag the person as passing through their own daily phase of Iskiru's 5 minute madness. Funny enough, I loved saying very stupid and funny things in secondary school and so, it seemed like I got even a higher dose of the 5 minute madness. Lol.

However, one thing Iskiru never did was to bully anyone to collecting their property or money or food. He did everything a mad man did except from being a mad thief. Seeing the mad man of Agbowo, he reminded me of Iskiru. Anytime I see him coming, I usually cross to the other side. If I unavoidably have to pass by him, I would walk as fast as my legs can carry me till I pass him. Rumor has it that he is very sane and not mad but just behaves like one, all dressed in rags and smoking and drinking. I don't have a problem with that. Everyone has their own life ish.

On a particular day, I mistakenly bumped into him in a hug. I fell sick at that instant for almost a week. I don't know if it was psychological sickness. All I know is that it was life changing and even my body responded. I don't still have a problem with that since it was an accident. I started having a big problem with the man the day I was coming back from where I went to eat on Sunday. I was walking on a quiet street in Agbowo when I sighted the man starring at me intently from afar off.

Now, I'm a very bursty young lady and the vest I wore made my boobs more pronounced which wasn't intentional. So, I assumed he was starring at them. I'm used to such stares already just that it seemed awkward from a mad man. Suddenly, he started walking towards me and then, my heart started thumping fast. I was confused because I thought he wanted to press my boobs or something. So, I started strategizing on how I would run or scream or hit him. Ironically, he cared less about my boobs. He was in for the rough two twenty naira and ten naira notes in my hand, summing up to fifty naira. He approached me and said in Yoruba,

                                          'Fun mi lowo yen' (Give me that money)

At first, I was a bit reluctant. I felt if he wanted to beg, he should be polite and I would give it to him. I had no problem giving him fifty naira. It's chicken change. So, I didn't and I kept walking away slowly since he was in front of me. Then he said,

                                      'Ma ja gba lowo e o' (I will grab it from your hand o)

That was when I realized he was serious and the situation was serious as well. Scared to my bone marrow, I stretched out the money to him and he grabbed it from me and went his way. I was so freaked out. The women present laughed hard at me, telling me its a normal occurrence and there was nothing to be scared of. I walked briskly to the house and narrated the occurrence to my boyfriend asking what a typical Nigerian would ask,

                                  'Hope he won't use my money for something fetish o'

The rest of the story is history. I feel this calls for concern. That man had and has no right whatsoever to collect money from me in such a way. What if I was holding a one thousand naira note or more? I feel he's just using the madness as a cover up for his thiefry and something needs to be done about it. It's actually not funny and I'm still pissed. Have you ever experienced such with that man or another mad man? Let me know your experience.

Photo Credit - Dara Media

Side Gist - I'm going to see Kingsman today. Yaay! It's currently topping the movie charts in the world according to Duta.

Thanks For Reading!!!💗💋



  1. Hahahhaaha..... Emete has cracked my ribs ooo... I would have done the same to avoid embarrassment. It won't be funny to get harrassed by a mad man oo. Nice write up dear. Keep shining.

    1. Lol. Thanks dearest. I hope something is done about that guy, ASAP sha

  2. Grace, he is actually a mad man for real. He is one of those guys you grow up knowing on the street, but his madness is as a result of too much smoking and let's possibly say drug abuse.
    All mad guys have their different styles, and his own is collecting money from people (ONLY if he sees you holding money). Atleast he needs that for his upkeep and cigarette

    1. Lol. Thanks for confirming his status. Even though he needs money for his upkeep, he should b polite instead of bulling one out of it. Well, there is no politeness in the dictionary of mad men. Thanks for stopping by, candor.


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