HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!! - A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF (EMOTIONAL MUCH)

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First of all, I didn't realize that today is Children's day till I looked at today's date. Do I need to be spanked? Well, No. Before I start ranting, let me quickly drop this letter to my younger self. Much different from any other letter you might have read. I'm a bit emotional right now (lies).

Dear, Little Emete

*In Jenifa's Voice* How is you???

Lol. I know you are couched in a tiny section of the big upholstery chair in the living room. Erm, you don't feel very comfortable because yesterday, you dug out some more foam from the chair and placed a little needle there to see if sister funmi will sit on it. And yes, mommy is looking for the remote control right now but it's safe in your pant. Eew! That same pant you are wearing for the third time. #sigh When will you start learning to be neat?

Adulthood is a trap, you keep hearing but you really don't buy into that. You really want to grow older. Not as old as grandpa. Yes, you will grow as old as him and even older than him by the grace of God. But for now, you want to grow as old as mommy. You want to get married and have your kids and show them so much love that they would choke. You aren't really enjoying this joke called childhood because no one wants to believe that you are the child you are.

You are 8 years old but everyone thinks you are 12. Last time, you wanted to climb the merry go round but the teacher stopped you from climbing saying you are too old for it and your body weight is greater than it. But, your class mates and age mates are on it, very merry. Even those older than you. Another time in church, you wanted to collect biscuit that was being shared round for children like you but the teacher called you 'agbaya' saying you were a teenager and not a child.

Who did you actually offend? Mommy said you were the second biggest child she gave birth to and the doctor had to cut her vagina because you were too big. You didn't create yourself, did you? Mommy also said you were very beautiful and everyone wanted to carry you. You always smiled and talked less. Now, you want to talk more but you are scared because people won't believe that such aged words are coming from a mere 8 years old.

Remember the time you gave the creche nanny a marital advise? She didn't look at you as a kid. She saw those words as 'oro agba'.. But maybe she didn't challenge you because she thought you were 14. Just maybe. And in school? You are the tallest. Yes, you and ore olumeyan. You are the only one who has started growing breasts at age 8. Erm, the other person has a much smaller breasts than yours. So, you always put your hands under your uniform and make a space so that your growing breasts won't be noticed.

And FM? He keeps pursuing you round the street. He wants you to date him. Not only him. Other boys. But you are just 8 and don't want a relationship. You don't even like boys. You don't want to be their friend because you might get pregnant if they touch you too much. So you are always on your own while they laugh at you. And when you are on your own, you are simply day dreaming of when you will be old enough. Old enough to love a man. Old enough to get married. Old enough to have kids. You really love love.

Lest I forget, you also love God. You started a church - God's Own Church which had only one member, yourself. Soon, you dumped it. Lol. You anyway want to be a pastor. And you also want to be rich. Very rich and therefore help a lot of people. Hmm, till that day though. And you also wish children who look bigger than their age won't be stigmatized and won't be laughed at. Because in the end, it isn't their fault. Stigmatizing a bigger child is suicidal. You have friends like you who hate themselves because they don't look their age and still, the society expects more from them and won't let them enjoy their childhood.

Your childhood is confined to daddy's house. Inside the house, you are an 8 year old who can still throw in sand and chew. Laugh and bath naked in the rain while hiding your bombom from the neighbor's son, Papa. But outside, outside the house, you are an adult. An 8 year old adult who could be mistaken for a 12 year old. Sometimes, a 14 year old when you start speaking.

You will grow older. Soon. Just as that little camera star grew bigger from last night. You too, you will be old enough.

Till next time, dream bigger!

Lots of love,
Emete

Make a child smile today. It means a lot. They won't forget so easily. 

Those words above are true words. My life story as a child. So, when they are asking if I want to go back to being a child and I say NO, now you know why.

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!

EMETE

8 comments:

  1. Wow! This was really emotional. I feel I can relate to every bit of what you wrote down. Please let me hug you. #e-hugs

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  2. Great piece! You played well with our imaginations. My younger sister also faced this same thing. I'm glad you created an awareness. Interesting blog by the way.

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    1. @lade george, beautiful comment and say me hi to your younger sister. Thanks!

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  3. Wow! What a masterpiece. I love how your mind works. (think I've told you that before)

    Wait, so at 8, your breast were already coming . . . Nice. Out of curiosity, can I ask when younger Emete had her first boyfriend?
    Don't tell me 8!

    *tip-toes way*

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    1. @nwamaka ajaegbu, thanks dear. What if I tell you 8? Lol. Well, I think 12 or 11. Because... Big stature tinz. #winks

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  4. awwww. I was also a very quiet baby and always smiled. Was chubby also with low self esteem because I had a bad dentition and other kids made fun of me. But then as I grew older I learned not to care about what people say about me. Childhood was so much fun and I have so many memories with my siblings. I'm thankful for my childhood. A lot of kids this days don't get to experience 'childhood'. Help!!! Why can’t I be consistent & get stuff done? | Would you love to be a part of the Consistency Challenge?

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    1. @tega enai, I'm glad you had a fun childhood. That's the most important thing.

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